Dear Molly...
A few weeks ago I got an email from Molly, who is 9 years old. I’ve never met Molly but she knew me and decided to send me a note. Molly explained that she is working on a project called GUIDE FOR A GRADE SCHOOL GIRL. I was a little surprised, as I’m pretty sure I was busy making friendship bracelets at recess when I was 9.
And, also, writing a book is super hard. Let’s just say: Molly is WAY ahead of me.
But Molly gave me a chance to think hard about some really great questions. Keep at it, Molly! After all, Who Runs the World???
Here are my thoughts:
Who is the first hero you remember having? What did you like about that hero?
My first hero was definitely my Grandma. I thought she was beautiful and kind and she always smelled really good. Going to her house was the biggest adventure, and she did everything to make my visit super special. Every summer I would go and stay with her and my Grandpa and she would choose a theme for the summer, like “abolition.” We’d go to the library on my first day there, take out all the books we could find on the topic, and make a summer reading list. Then everyday we’d do a project or go on a trip to see something that had to do with the theme. She died a few years ago, but one of the reasons she was my hero is that she always, always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.
Who is one of your heroes today? What do you like about them?
The older I get the harder it seems to be a woman in this world. I hate to tell you that, but I know your generation will change it for the better just like I hope mine has. I’ve had the honor of meeting some amazing women, like Hillary Clinton, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Toni Morrison, Brene Brown…they are my heroes because they are stepping out there and breaking the norms to make it easier for women like me to follow our dreams.
What is the first book you remember really liking? Why do you think you remember it / liked it?
I loved Scott O’Dell’s book The Island of the Blue Dolphins. I’ve read it so many times that I can’t count. I loved it because it was set on an island, like Hawaii, where I grew up. The story is full of adventure and detail that would let me escape from my own world and join the story. Looking back now, I am sure part of the appeal of the story was the strong main character—a girl. This book helped me believe that I can do anything, like she did.
I want to be happy when I grow up. What makes you happy today?
One thing I have learned in my (almost) 50 years is that things and people around us can bring us joy, but being happy comes from inside of you. I’m still working on figuring it out, but I think happiness comes from knowing who you are and what you believe, and living your life making sure the decisions you make and the things you say and do really represent. Like, if you believe that we should be kind to each other, then when you’re really annoyed and you have a choice to be kind or to be mean, you choose to be kind. It’s really hard, but I think that’s where a lot of happiness comes from.
I also think happiness comes from having fresh flowers in your house, never wearing scratchy sweaters, and always having high thread count sheets. Ask your Mom and Dad if you don’t know what those mean. It took me about 45 years to learn those rules, so it’s totally okay if you’ve never heard them before.
What do you do to stop being sad when you get sad?
I have some people in my life who I call or text when I’m really sad. I call them “my people.” I bet you have a list of your people, too. The “my people” list is pretty short because it has to be made up of people who will stick with you NO MATTER WHAT. These people could be sisters or brothers, children, friends, teachers, parents…anybody who loves you just like you are and will drop everything to help or listen when you feel sad.
I also talk to my counselor when I feel sad (and when I am happy, too). She’s like a doctor. Sometimes the sad feels so sad you need someone like that. And that’s a really smart thing to do.
What should a kid do if they get sad?
Only you know what helps you when you’re feeling super sad. I think your people would be there to listen if you needed them. I also understand that some people love pets—dogs, cats, birds? I don’t have any pets myself but maybe you do? Do your pets help you when you feel sad?
What is one thing a 9 year old should do for 20 minutes each week that they might not be doing now?
You should DEFINITELY be reading books MORE than 20 minutes a week. Books are the most wonderful way to explore a different world or learn something new. I think the quiet time you have reading a book is really special. When I was your age I also used to sneak my Walkman (ask your parents what that is) under the covers and after my parents put us to bed I would tune the radio to a show called “Memories to Midnight”. I learned some popular songs, like this one, that have stuck in my head all of these years. My parents didn’t really let us watch much TV or listen to music for grown ups, but I did it anyway.
(Shhhh, don’t tell my Mom. She still doesn’t know.)
What would you tell your 9 year old self if you could talk to that kid today?
You are beautiful exactly like you are. God created you and loves you like crazy--in fact, every time God looks at you, God thinks, “Wow! That was great work!”. You might have a dream about your life, what you want to do, who you want to be…whatever that dream is, go for it! Don’t listen to voices who tell you that you can’t or you shouldn’t, especially because you’re a girl. Your life is a gift to the world!
Sometimes grown ups forget all of that because we get really busy taking care of all the things we think are super important, like paying bills and grocery shopping and mowing the lawn and answering email. We need you to follow your dreams because it helps us remember to follow ours. There is a big wide world out there will lots of problems, and if we work together we can really make a difference. You give the grown ups hope, so don’t let go of those dreams.
What helps you be brave?
I think this is a really good question. I think one of the toughest things to do in life is to be brave, because there are lots of things in life that are hard or make us sad. Sometimes when I’m afraid I feel like I want to quit. That’s why I have a sign on my front door that says: BE SCARED AND DO IT ANYWAY. I think if we stopped trying every time we felt scared we wouldn’t get very far. You’re a lot younger than I am but I am sure you already feel afraid about some big scary things. I wish somebody had told me when I was 9 that feeling scared is part of life, but so is being brave.
Everybody feels scared, but not everybody is brave. Be brave, my girl! The world needs as many brave people as it can get.
What is a good goal for a 9 year old?
Well, I guess your goals depend on what you like to do. Doing your best in school; keeping at a sport you love; learning a skill you’d like to learn...those are all good goals for a 9 year old. I think, though, that you don’t have to be 9 to accomplish one of the most important goals you can accomplish: loving your people hard. I imagine there are people in your family and maybe in your church or school whom you really love. Make sure they know you love them.
What is one thing (my dad says characteristic) that you admire in kids?
One thing I admire in so many kids these days is the passion you have for changing the world for the better. Just look at all the young people who have changed the world: the kids from Parkland, Greta Thunberg, Malala...there are so many! It just goes to show that you don’t have to wait to grow up before doing what you believe in. I have three kids myself, and one of the things I love about them is that they really want to make the world a better place by speaking up for people who don’t have a voice, volunteering their time, advocating for things they believe in. What do you think needs to change in the world? I’d bet you are already doing something about that. Hooray for you!
What is a good hobby that a kid should try?
Well, a few years ago I decided I needed a new hobby so I learned to drive a motorcycle. You’re not quite ready to do that yet, but I bet you can think of something that seems exciting and interesting to you. Whatever that is, I say go out and try it. What do you have to lose? Square dancing? Knitting? Baking? Building things? The list is as long as your imagination. Go for it!
